
The first thing that I was struck by upon my return to Darksyde Acres following a six year hiatus was how busy the boondocks haunt had become over that time. While that fact did mean my group and I would be standing in line for some time, I was happy for the operators of Darksyde Acres who have weathered a lot of challenges over the years. I was also pleased to see that the ole porta potty gag was still being used to great effect. There was even some strange, bird-like creature who communicated with patrons through continuous honking.
CHANGES ABOUND
The most striking and impressive change, in my opinion, was Klowne Towne nestled in the middle of the main structure at the former pig farm. The glow of neon colors was to be found in each room and around every corner. If imagination would allow — and mine certainly did — one might envision the splattered halls as the result of a gaggle of irradiated clowns who suffered from explosive diarrhea. Go on, don’t fight it. You know you want to picture it. It was as if Jackson Pollack joined forces with The Exorcist to create a controversial, modern art installation. A handful of areas even distorted perspective with the use of illusion, an effect perhaps best illustrated by a polka dot room complete with floating orbs.
Change was obvious too throughout the first stretch of the attraction which had expanded to include a well-designed laboratory that featured a number of ill-mannered and sickly patients. On the other end of the spectrum, the conclusion of the haunt was notable for a new scene that featured mutant spiders that crawled from web-strewn tunnels.
On all of those accounts the opening trifecta was quite enjoyable, and even featured a noticeably larger cast than in previous seasons, although it did seem to be a fairly green cast. However, the single greatest detraction from Darksyde Acres was not necessarily the relatively inexperienced cast, but rather the near wholesale absence of the signature characters that had once been mainstays.
Gone was Bubbles and Pickles, the vivacious Juggsy was missing in action as well. Dr. Ickk was nowhere to be found and search as I did I found not a clue of the wise-cracking, bag of bones, Richter Mortis. Alas, Casey the pole dancer was also a distant memory.
Rating: 3 stars
SQUEAL PIGGY, SQUEAL!
Next was the Labyrinth which was a better than average maze that sported a collection of neat scenes and a whole lot of walking ham that wielded chainsaws. It was a fun and effective, if not abbreviated, method to funnel customers to the moribound mariners of the Dark Abyss.
Rating: 2.5 stars
THE FATE OF CAPTAIN KARCASS
After the departure of so many regulars, it was great to meet the acquaintance of the swash-buckling, skeletal, Captain Karcass once more. He held us briefly at the entrance of his ill-fated ship where we cracked wise about rotund stowaways who might test the strength of the deck aboard the Dark Abyss. Inside, the ship was well-stocked with seafaring scoundrels and as elaborately furnished as ever it was. However, once again, I noticed that a familiar face had vanished, the incomparable Lady Chop Chop had either succumb to one of the many diseases common to the Dark Abyss or else had abandoned ship.
Rating: 2.75 stars
Change is inevitable, and it had descended upon Darksyde Acres. The once raunchy, no-holds-barred style has given way to a more conventional form of haunting, but in doing so has surely expanded the customer base. Although many of my personal favorites have likely departed, Darksyde Acres is in good hands and with any luck in a season or two a new core of characters will aspire to the lofty heights of their vaunted predecessors.