2016 Haunt Schedule: End of the Line

It’s been a number of years since I approached the haunt season armed with the knowledge that I’d be visiting less haunted attractions than the previous year, but such is the case in 2016. I’m at peace with that. The decision to tour less haunted attractions in 2016 was made for two reasons — the most prominent being my involvement with the Wyandotte Jaycees Haunted House, SIN. The other reason for the reduction is simply that I’ve been fortunate to visit so many haunted houses over the last decade; the State of Michigan is running low on spooky places I haven’t witnessed.

Another change this year is that I’ve ranked the nights below in order of importance. In an effort to tour new attractions I’ve prioritized those trips. There are of course other factors as well such as proximity to other haunts and that is reflected as well. The haunt season does of course offer surprises every season and for that reason the list below, although ranked in order of importance, does not necessarily represent a chronological order of events. Nor is this list meant to suggest that I’ll manage to get to each of these places. I’ve done this long enough to know that each Halloween season is a unique, wild creature.

THE HAUNTED OPEN ROAD

Night #1 – Jackson’s Underworld (Jackson), Awaken (Leslie) & Shawhaven Haunted Farm (Mason)

Notes: Shawhaven Haunted Farm has been on my radar for the last couple of seasons but the clock has always seemed run out on the season before a trip could manifest. It’s an hour and a half from my home but when Awaken recently opened in nearby Leslie, I knew it was finally time to make Shawhaven a priority. Then I realized that our route would take us right by Jackson’s Underworld, a haunt we haven’t visited since 2013. This was a harmonic convergence of direction and distance as each haunt is roughly 15 – 20 minutes apart from the last.

Night #2 – Bloodview (Broadview Heights, OH.) & Carnival of Horrors (Cuyahoga Falls, OH.)

Notes: An every other year pattern is emerging with Bloodview; frequent readers may remember that Bloodview is staffed by The Legion of Terror an improvisational group that showcases a new theme every weekend. We witnessed Zombie Apocalypse in 2012 and Witch Trials in 2014. This year I want to experience the Sinister Sideshow which will be held the weekend of October 7 – 9. Carnival of Horrors is located in Cuyahoga Falls, roughly 30 minutes from Bloodview in Broadview Heights. The distance itself isn’t prohibitive but the Carnival of Horrors does host four attractions and that could prove problematic if lines are long. Luckily, this region of Ohio boasts a number of haunted attractions that can serve as an alternate if need be.

Night #3 – Haunted Elementary (Bridgeport) & Bates Haunted Saw Mill (Millington)

Notes: Haunted Elementary is now enveloped by the Bridgeport Goregrounds and features three haunts including FrightSite (a 3D attraction) and Outbreak (an interactive zombie event). It definitely has the feel of a small Michigan haunt on the upswing. Bates Haunted Saw Mill offers two attractions and touts itself as being “old school creepy.” I do love me some old school. Bridgeport and Millington are just shy of 30 minutes apart although the drive from home will eclipse the 1 hour and 45 minute mark, a pair of new locations that collectively house five attractions seems worth the gamble.

Night #4 – Woods of Darkness (South Rockwood), Psycho Path (Flat Rock) & Hush (Westland)

Notes: Admittedly, these are all attractions I’ve toured before but my last trip through Wood of Darkness came during the 2011 season. Furthermore, the haunted house has been run by an entirely different team the last several seasons which could produce a significantly different experience than when last I came knocking. There was some fear that Psycho Path would cease operations after a crucial member of the team departed during the off-season but that concern was recently laid to rest when I received confirmation that the little gem would indeed be operational in 2016 with a Medieval theme. We have visited Hush three straight years, but off-season circumstances there facilitated a total rebuild that produced an intriguing New Orleans-themed attraction. The other prime factor with this night is the proximity to home which provides a lot of flexibility where dates and times are concerned.

Night #5 – Bonadeo Farms (Highland Township) & Rotten Manor (Holly)

Notes: Rotten Manor was named the 2015 Horrorlust Haunt of the Year and new for 2016 are Rotten Forest and Clown Barn. That’s plenty of intrigue to be sure but in a year with limited dates and an emphasis on new locations, I’m not sure that the haunted corn maze and haunted house at the somewhat obscure Bonadeo Farms is enough of a lure for this night. This has the feel of a wild card so I’ll leave it to the haunt fates.

Night #6 – Panic at Pinestump Hollow (St. Clair) & The Deadland (Warren)

Notes: Panic at Pinestump Hollow is similar to Shawhaven Haunted Farm in that it’s a place with more than one attraction that I’ve desired to visit for a few years now and have failed to get there. So why is it so far down on this list? Well, we’ve already visited everything else within shouting distance. We crossed off Blake’s and Slaughtered at Sundown in 2013, checked off The Fear Factory last year and toured Haunted Farm of Terror twice. We did visit Scarefest Scream Park in 2012 and only toured two of the four attractions so I suppose that might be an option as well. Had Salem’s Haunted Barn in Capac been operational this year, that pair would’ve moved this outing up two to three places on this list. I had also heard that the House of Fear in Hazel Park was going to reopen this year but the website for that haunt has out of date information. For all of those reasons I’ve paired it with The Deadland which provided a solid opening night show last year.

Night #7 – The Haunted Hydro (Fremont, OH.)

Notes: I last toured The Haunted Hydro six years ago in 2010. I love the place, it has atmosphere in spades. It has stood for 27 years, is operated by passionate professionals and is a true child of Halloween. But since the closure of Terror Town last year I’ve been unable to find anything to pair with The Haunted Hydro. It’s roughly an hour and half from my area and that’s something to consider for just one location; even one as excellent as The Haunted Hydro. I’m open to suggestions should anyone know of another haunt around the Fremont region.

OTHER HAUNTS OF INTEREST: THE TWISTED SIX

Corpse Barn Shock Haunt – Made a good first impression in 2014 and I have a feeling the gang here is capable of even better. It’ll be an ideal substitute should one of the haunts fall through on Night #1. Plus it’s a barn haunt. I love barn haunts.

The Dent Schoolhouse – Been pining to visit for a good five years now, would require an overnight trip. On the plus side, the Cincinnati region has several other haunted attractions that would compliment The Dent Schoolhouse quite nicely. I’m so very tempted to move this one onto the main list.

Darksyde Acres – Toured this unique locale from 2011 – 2014; one year layoff has me itching to get back. One of those post-Halloween 18+ Nights would work perfectly for me but a glance at the calendar suggests that isn’t likely this season.

Dreadlands Haunt of Davison – Research Labs was without question one of the most unusual haunted attractions I’ve ever toured and last year the operators even did a glow stick event which is hard for me to even comprehend at this haunt. I’d love to experience that myself but the routes outlined above make it unlikely.

Haunting in the Hills – A new haunt located in Onsted with three attractions, the most interesting of which is called Train Car of Terror. It’s kind of in no man’s land but might be worth checking out if something funky happens to the schedule and I suddenly have a free day. In fact, it wouldn’t pair up badly with Corpse Barn Shock Haunt or Darksyde Acres.

Slaughter House – Last visited in 2013, nobody mixes humor and illusion like Slaughter House. I liked what I read last year regarding several scene updates and a Purge theme for 2016 should keep things interesting. It could be paired with Trail of Terror at Bestmaze Corn Maze in Williamston or possibly something from Night #1 if the schedule goes wonky.

2015 Haunt Season Rewind

Late September has crept up awfully quickly and many haunted attractions have already opened their doors to customers. 2016 is going to be a pivotal season here at Horrorlust for several reasons, but before any of that fun can begin we must pause and peer into the rear view mirror for a glimpse of the year that was — submitted for your approval, here are some of the most memorable moments from the 2015 haunt season as recorded here on Horrorlust.

On an overly-friendly character at The Deadland, 9/17/15

“Mr. Snuggles was a clown — at least I think that’s what he was. He looked like a clown but he made a few comments that led me to believe that perhaps the face was not his own. Yeah, we’re talking some freaky skin suit stuff here.”

On an unexpected bit of interaction at The Deadland, 9/17/15

“However, our absolute favorite was Mikey’s birthday party where we sung a boisterous rendition of Happy Birthday at the insistence of the dead boy’s busty mother.”

On a curious ringmaster at the Haunted Farm of Terror, 9/17/15

“Rigby stood head and shoulders above the fairgoers and seemed to have pilfered his outfit from Uncle Sam. One side of his face sported a nasty burn but the disfigurement did nothing to stem his voice which boomed theatrically through a mega phone.”

On a bizarre yet humorous broadcast at the Haunted Farm of Terror, 9/17/15

“Transfixed, we stood and listened to the queer tale that was being broadcast — some weird business about a degenerate rabbit.”

On the charged finale at Krazy Hilda’s Trail of Terrors, 9/26/15

“The air suddenly felt electric, pregnant with anticipation. For a moment time stood still and then like a phantom in the night Junior answered his mother’s call…”

On a tough and unlikely decision at The Dark Box, 10/03/15

“It was a testament to the raw weirdness of the odd ghoul that we accepted the word of the pig-man.”

On the panic-inducing conclusion of The Dark Box, 10/03/15

“Further investigation would reveal the existence of a peculiar path, a path that at least one of our group members refused to travel. Needless to say, it proved to be a harrowing, heart-racing and claustrophobic road to freedom.”

On the importance of good banter at The Bone Yard, 10/03/15

“As we stood at the threshold for The Freak’s Show there was talk of pickled punks and the potential existence of a woman with the rare condition of a double uterus — never let anybody tell you that the person who acts as gatekeeper isn’t a vital part of the haunted attraction.”

On a lost youth inside the Cornmaze of Fear at Past Tense After Dark, 10/10/15

“I like to think that Tiffany will be among the scarecrows next year.”

On a riveting scene inside House of Horrors at Past Tense After Dark, 10/10/15

“The heads were talking, possibly plotting and they were all around us! Neither John nor myself had any desire to become one of their legion, so with our own heads on a swivel we ducked and dodged our way out of that most macabre menagerie.”

On unforgettable actors at Psycho Path, 10/16/15

“In one memorable passage a group of animate dolls, in various states of disrepair and degradation, begged for our assistance. One twitched in robotic spasms while she meekly pleaded for help, another, scarcely more than a torso with a head, merely seemed confused by the state of her sad existence.”

On a scene at Hallowe’en Nights reminiscent of an episode of The Twilight Zone, 10/22/15

“Old-fashioned music drifted across the intersection of Christie and Main Street while the carousel spun haunting rotations as if propelled by a ghostly hand.”

On a dedicated actress at Clio Manor, 10/24/15

“In one room a randy temptress tried to lure us onto her bed which was occupied by the body of her former lover, some poor bastard named Sammy. The temptress shamelessly mounted the corpse and began to grind her hips.”

On a near tranny hookup at Exit 13, 10/24/15

“While my companions howled with laughter, Francine was denied the kiss she so desired by the timely magic of a hidden door that whisked me into darkness and away from her eager, puckered lips.”

On a horrifying clown outside Total Blackout at Exit 13, 10/24/15

“It was as if two separate entities had decided to take up residence in the same body and I got the distinct impression that at least one, if not both, of those personalities had some molester tendencies.”

On Simple, a unique character on the Proving Grounds Trail at Dreadlands Haunt of Davison, 10/24/15

“When we inquired about his state he indicated that he was both “special” and intoxicated; indeed all signs suggested that both were true.”

On the sheer fun inside Zombie Sniper Arena at Dreadlands Haunt of Davison, 10/24/15

“After some initial confusion in which my gun seemed to jam, Steve, John and I fired upon the undead menace with wild abandon that I daresay bordered on glee.”

On a threatening actor at Hush, 10/30/15

“A physically imposing, snarling nihilist fervently pursued us spewing graphic rhetoric on the meaninglessness of life itself.”

On an effective, psychological scare at Dark Legacy, 10/30/15

“What? That doesn’t sound hair-raising to you? Have you ever been followed by a hobo with a shopping cart in the dark?! It’s unsettling stuff.”

On a child-actor at Rotten Manor, 10/31/15

“We also encountered a kid named Billy who possessed an unsettling, gravely voice, exercised the odd skill of scaling walls and seemed for all the world to have been recently unearthed from Pet Cemetery.”

On the genuine terror of Abandon, 10/31/15

“My heart raced like it had not raced in a good many years while inside a haunted attraction. I turned to John and inquired about his own state, his heart too threatened to beat straight out of his chest.”

2015 Horrorlust Haunt Awards

Rotten Pumpkin – The Rotten Pumpkin award is given to the haunt considered to be the most disappointing of the season. Disappointment may be the result of an over hyped marketing campaign or the failure of the haunt to live up to expectations set forth in previous seasons. Whatever the case may be let there be no doubt that the haunt receiving this unwanted distinction truly dropped the ball, failing to provide a worthwhile show.

2015 Rotten Pumpkin: Scarecrow Hollow (The Boneyard)

Scarecrow Hollow had potential but it was squandered early and often; a couple of would-be standout moments felt clunky and incomplete. A few actors delivered average performances while the rest of the cast was unmotivated and uninspired.

Eerie Vibrations – The Eerie Vibrations award is given to the haunt considered to exude the best overall atmosphere. Atmosphere is defined by the mood of the haunt itself but can also be fostered by immediate grounds or even the surrounding area.

2015 Eerie Vibrations: Terrorfied Forest (Terrorfied Forest & Manor)

Honorable Mention: The Dark Box

After receiving an honorable mention in this category two years ago, the namesake of Terrorfied Forest & Manor snagged the prize in 2015. It’s hard to beat the natural ambience of the Terrorfied Forest, a half hour trek through ghoul infested woods.

Dark Horse – The Dark Horse award is given to the haunt considered to have the most potential for growth. Criteria for this award include the ability to deliver an entertaining show at a relatively small venue and at a reduced rate. Think of the Dark Horse award as our way of recognizing the little haunt that could.

2015 Dark Horse: Krazy Hilda’s Trail of Terrors

Honorable Mention: Psycho Path

Krazy Hilda’s is the quintessential feel good story and embodies the true spirit of the little haunt that could. Krazy Hilda’s Trail of Terrors recaptured that classic Halloween feeling in 2015 with a show that could be enjoyed by people of all ages. This is the second time that Krazy Hilda’s has earned the Dark Horse Award, the first came during the 2011 season at the Barn of Doom when the old witch was stationed in Saline.

Killer Automatons – The Killer Automatons award is given to the haunt that best integrates animatronics into its attraction. When determining this award several factors are considered including timing, prop placement, realism, and sheer wow effect.

2015 Killer Automatons: Dark Legacy

Honorable Mention: Rotten Manor

Dark Legacy built on the success of the 2014 season with a superior second act in 2015. This attraction gives visitors a little bit of everything and after securing this award two years running, it’s clear that automated monstrosities are a big part of the game plan for Dark Legacy.

Monster – The Monster award is given to the haunt considered to have the best live actors of the season. In order to claim this award workers must display a certain level of intensity as well as a refusal to break character. Also crucial is the ability to improvise lines or actions when adapting to an individual guest or group.

2015 Monster: Hush

Honorable Mention: Clio Manor

This was the award that I grappled with the most because 2015 offered up a serious field of haunted houses that featured talented and diverse casts. After much consideration Hush locked down the Monster Award in 2015 with a loaded back half that just wouldn’t be denied. This marks back-to-back Monster Awards for Hush.

Prop Master – The Prop Master award is given to the haunt considered to have best implemented props into the attraction. A prop may be considered a piece of furniture, a weapon, or a dummy. The haunt that claims this award will have paid special attention to placement, function, and realism.

2015 Prop Master: Research Labs (Dreadlands Haunt of Davison)

Honorable Mention: The Freak’s Show (The Boneyard)

Research Labs was so completely littered with household items and all sorts of common (and uncommon) junk that one might surmise it was actually occupied by the world’s most slovenly family. There was a level of authenticity here that most haunted attractions never approach.

Pulse Pounder – The Pulse Pounder award is given to the haunt considered to be the most intense attraction of the season. Intensity can be gauged by a number of factors including commitment of actors, gory or realistic scenes, and harsh or loud music and sound effects. However, the most important element when considering this award is genuine fear factor.

2015 Pulse Pounder: Abandon

Honorable Mention: The Dark Box

Heart-racing and hair-raising, Abandon was one of the most purely frightening haunted attractions I’ve ever visited. There was tension here fueled by a basic psychological, primal fear of the dark.

Samhain – This award recognizes the most enjoyable night of haunting in a given season. A plethora of factors are considered when deciding this award but at the end of the season it comes down to the night of haunting that provided us with the most scares, laughs, and memories.

2015 Samhain: Saturday, October 24, 2016 (Clio Manor, Exit 13, Dreadlands Haunt of Davison)

Honorable Mention: Saturday, October 31, 2016 (Rotten Manor, Abandon)

The immediate reaction from Saturday, October 24, 2016 was that it was one of the best overall nights we’d ever experienced. It was the kind of outing that leaves one exhausted and in need of a day of rest and reflection.

Haunt of the Year – The Haunt of Year award is given to the haunt considered to be the best overall attraction of the season. When deciding on this award several factors are taken into consideration including the timing and intensity of actors, the pace and length of the haunt, attention to detail, use of special effects, realism of props, and most importantly the lasting imprint left on guests.

2015 Haunt of the Year: Rotten Manor

Honorable Mention: Research Labs (Dreadlands Haunt of Davison)

Rotten Manor burst onto the scene out of nowhere in 2015. On Halloween, Rotten Manor put the pedal to the metal and never blinked. The facade is second to none, the attention to detail among the best and the scares a jumble of fright that kept us guessing with every step.

2015 Star Ratings

This list is not meant to compare one haunted attraction to another. The star system (1 – 5 stars) is merely meant to reflect how well I felt each individual haunt executed their particular show. Haunted attractions are a unique breed of entertainment and the quality of a show can vary from night to night, hour to hour and guest to guest for a great many reasons.

As you’ll notice, haunts are listed below in descending order. Where there are multiple haunts with the same star rating those attractions are listed alphabetically.

Again, this list should not be used to gauge which haunt is better than another. Primarily, I use these lists for archival purposes so that I can have a record of the haunted houses I visited and how those attractions performed in a given year.

2015 STAR RATINGS

1. Rotten Manor – 4.75 (Holly, MI.)

2. Research Labs – 4.5 (Dreadlands Haunt of Davison – Davison, MI.)

3. Clio Manor – 4.25 (Clio, MI.)

4. Dark Legacy – 4.25 (Wixom, MI.)

5. Exit 13 – 4.25 (Mt. Morris, MI.)

6. Hallowe’en Nights at Greenfield Village – 4.25 (Dearborn, MI.)

7. Abandon – 4 (Melvindale, MI.)

8. House of Horrors – 4 (Past Tense After Dark – Lapeer, MI.)

9. Hush – 4 (Westland, MI.)

10. Krazy Hilda’s Trail of Terrors – 4 (Ypsilanti, MI.)

11. Zombie Sniper Arena – 4 (Dreadlands Haunt of Davison – Davison, MI.)

12. The Deadland – 3.75 (Warren, MI.)

13. Haunted House – 3.75 (Haunted Farm of Terror – Lenox Township, MI.)

14. The Dark Box – 3.5 (Pinckney, MI.)

15. Haunted Hayride – 3.5 (Haunted Farm of Terror, Lenox Township, MI.)

16. Proving Grounds Trail – 3.5 (Dreadlands Haunt of Davison – Davison, MI.)

17. Psycho Path – 3.5 (Flat Rock, MI.)

18. Terror on the Blvd. – 3.5 (Lincoln Park, MI.)

19. The Freak’s Show – 3.25 (The Boneyard – Stockbridge, MI.)

20. Terrorfied Forest – 3.25 (Terrorfied Forest & Manor – Pinckney, MI.)

21. Cornmaze of Fear – 3 (Past Tense After Dark – Lapeer, MI.)

22. Deadwood Forest – 3 (The Boneyard – Stockbridge, MI.)

23. Fear Factory – 3 (Mt. Clemens, MI.)

24. Hayride of Despair – 3 (Past Tense After Dark – Lapeer, MI.)

25. Realm of Haunted Minds – 3 (Romulus, MI.)

26. Tunnel of Terror – 3 (Rochester, MI.)

27. Total Blackout – 2.75 (Exit 13 – Mt. Morris, MI.)

28. Bubbles’ Fun House – 2.5 (Terrorfied Forest & Manor, Pinckney, MI.)

29. Delirium – 2.25 (Wyandotte, MI.)

30. Scarecrow Hollow – 1.75 (The Boneyard – Stockbridge, MI.)

31. Route 666 – 1.25 (The Boneyard – Stockbridge, MI.)

Dreadlands Haunt of Davison Serves Up Triple Shot of Terror

If you make a habit of chasing the high that only haunting can provide, you’re sure to often find yourself in a race against the clock. Such was the case last October when we rolled into the Dreadlands Haunt of Davison. We turned onto a narrow wooded trail that didn’t seem fit to accommodate more than a single vehicle, we spotted a man to our left who held a sign that read: Sold Out. We chatted with the man briefly who seemed as confused as we were, ultimately we decided to continue down the path and hope for the best.

We wouldn’t regret that decision.

The Dreadlands Haunt of Davison seemed to be winding down for the night but that changed drastically once we began the terror triathlon comprised of The Research Labs, Proving Grounds Trail and Zombie Sniper Arena. Eager as ever, we darted for The Research Labs and never looked back.

A ONE-OF-A-KIND LABYRINTH OF HORROR

The Research Labs was a flurry of activity from the word go. Someone named Amy was on the loose and she had marshaled an army of zombies. We were whisked into a room where a large map of the United States was displayed on one wall, the area had the feel of a haphazard military bunker. A pair of soldiers engaged in a spirited debate over how to best contain the threat. The debate quickly escalated into argument which devolved into a physical altercation; one of them wound up unconscious or dead. We were ushered into the next room and left to our lonesome.

The Research Labs was mostly comprised of small, cluttered rooms filled with all manner of objects; including fish tanks that featured floating human heads. If Hoarders and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre got together for one supremely horrifying crossover it would resemble The Research Labs. Each space induced a sense of disorientation and claustrophobia. Several rooms seemed to be dead ends at first blush but further investigation revealed hidden passages disguised as a refrigerator, locker and even a closet full of moldy clothing.

The cast was plentiful, energetic and youthful if not a bit green, but boy were they vocal. Shouts and screams rebounded off of every corner of the structure, a tempest of human anguish bombarded our ears. All throughout the multi-level haunt offbeat spooks emerged from the shadows or groped at our limbs through strategically placed grabby holes. The multi-level aspect was a real stroke of brilliance which challenged haunters to climb ladders fashioned from wooden pallets. In one instance we emerged from a hole in the floor and found ourselves inside a cobweb infested attic, the planks beneath our feet sinking with every step.

Oh yeah, it’s hard to top that kind of authenticity.

We were also impressed by a library flush with shelves of books and yet another hidden exit. As fortune would have it I would even play the central character in an interactive electrocution scene! What can I say? I never turn down the opportunity to become part of the show. Shortly thereafter, we emerged outside into the night air a top a narrow spiral staircase, but once we’d descended to ground level we were fed right back into the unique edifice.

We pawed through the darkness of a maze searching for an escape when we happened upon trees. Trees? Yeah, trees. Full grown trees inside of a haunted house?! Okay, without even checking my records I know this to be a Horrorlust first. Riveted and bewildered as we were, we managed to push ahead where we would later encounter a manic scientist, who was definitely on the spectrum. We also crossed paths with a rather sinister mother who was all too matter-of-fact when she revealed that her baby had been burnt to a crisp.

Rating: 4.5 stars

PROVING GROUNDS TRAIL HOME TO WOODLAND WEIRDOS

We stood at the edge of the woods and listened to instructions from a believable young corporal, when he had finished with the briefing we were led into a large tent. Here, we were introduced to a nebbish scientist who rambled about an anti-virus, Ebola and even engaged in a spot of scatological humor. Once his interesting spiel had concluded we exited the rear of the tent and were swallowed by the darkness of the woods.

The Proving Grounds Trail was not for the faint of heart; the entire journey lasted nearly a solid half hour. The path was lined with ramshackle huts and other outbuildings of various shapes and sizes which afforded ghouls a great many places from which to launch an ambush. In one unforgettable instance, a slovenly, middle-aged man lurched toward us on wobbly legs. His speech was heavily slurred, his mannerisms stuttered and exaggerated; in one hand he grasped a brown paper bag that concealed a bottle. When we inquired about his state he indicated that he was both “special” and intoxicated; indeed all signs suggested that both were true. He told us that his name was Simple (of course it was) and then warned us of his brother, George. With caution fresh in mind we journeyed deeper into the woods; Simple shambled off in the opposite direction.

The uneven, earthen path was strewn with a great many objects, all in a state of disrepair and decay. There was a moonshine still (likely Simple’s watering hole), a full-size above-ground pool and even a dilapidated pick-up truck which we were forced to crawl through. The woods featured a mixture of captives and cretins who roamed the territory unchecked; it was difficult to distinguish friend from foe and as a result we eyed all who approached with suspicion. The wind had begun to rip through the trees and screams echoed throughout the woods in every direction.

The trail came to an abrupt end at the front door of a small cabin, we heard the distinct sound of a gun being cocked. I knocked on the wooden door and an unseen voice told us to enter. A portly, bearded man stood in the living room brandishing a shotgun. His choice of decor made for an odd mishmash — raggedy, leopard skin furniture lined the room, a single Ansel Adams print hung on one wall.

This was George, brother of Simple.

As George told it, a big family reunion was on the horizon. He instructed us to stay off of his carpet despite the fact that we were all standing on plain, wooden boards. A noise was be heard beneath our feet. The preponderance of evidence suggested to me that perhaps George was a tad unhinged and no sooner a portion of the floor erupted! A frail, teenage girl sprung from a trap door and began to scream. George shoved the gun in her faced and forced her back into the spider hole. We took this as our cue to exit.

We would wander the bleak woods for some time still and eventually came to a large wooden structure where we ascended a set of stairs. Once at the top we were loaded one by one into a zip line contraption that sent us soaring through the trees; it proved to be a thrilling finale complete with a heart-racing gag.

Rating: 3.5 stars

ZOMBIE SNIPER ARENA MIXES INTERACTION & EXCITEMENT

I generally have very little interest in any presentation of zombie paintball but it was clear that the Dreadlands offered a different beast altogether. We wouldn’t be firing at static props or even enjoy the comfort of a protective barrier, no we would enter a maze flush with brain munchers. We geared up, listened intently to safety protocals and accepted our mission — the recovery of a highly valuable anti-virus.

It was obvious that the military brass and the grunts on the front lines were at odds with each other, a Captain Hudson argued forcefully with a superior official of unknown rank. Tensions rose so high that people became distracted and careless, a makeshift door was breached and Captain Hudson vanished into a sea of writhing, rotten flesh. In a state of panic we were thrust into the maze.

The sound of zombies hailed from every direction (we would later find out that a sound system pumped in the recorded moans and groans of the actors). After some initial confusion in which my gun seemed to jam, Steve, John and I fired upon the undead menace with wild abandon that I daresay bordered on glee. To our great shock, we found Captain Hudson, alive! The crafty military man had utilized a table to shield himself from the army of corpses. Following a quick reload we were able to gun down the remainder of the meat bags, recover the anti-virus and save the world!

Rating: 4 stars

Clio Manor, Exit 13 & Dreadlands Haunt of Davison Spawn Nightmare Fuel

I woke up with a headache this morning which was really no surprise when you stop to consider that last night I got absolutely drunk on haunts. I can say without exaggeration or hyperbole that last night was one for the record books, an evening that rocketed up the list of best outings ever.

Clio Manor exceeded my expectations with a fusion of unique characters, substantial interaction and a physical cast that exercised a certain subversive element. Many of the scenes were visually compelling while the scares possessed a creative flair that kept us guessing. Furthermore, Clio Manor was exceptionally paced and offered some serious bang-for-the-buck as it clocked in at more than twenty minutes.

Exit 13 was rockin’ n rollin’ as usual and continued to solidify itself as one of the best haunted houses in the entire state of Michigan. The actors were as in-your-face as ever — my chin was stroked, my hair petted; I was manhandled by a clown and propositioned for a kiss by a transsexual named Francine! The level of detail throughout Exit 13 and all of its various scenes was impressive to say the least. Like Clio Manor, Exit 13 ensnared guests in excess of twenty minutes and there was even a second attraction — Total Blackout!

The night concluded at Dreadlands Haunt of Davison and we arrived just in time to buy tickets to this hidden gem of the Michigan haunt scene. The Research Labs were like no haunt we’ve ever seen; it featured a large cast, hidden passages, false endings and multiple levels among so many other goodies! It was the stuff that the best nightmares are made of! The second attraction, Proving Grounds Trail, was fun too and offered moments of humor amidst the scares; the zip line finale was a thrilling first at a haunted attraction. Finally, we stormed Zombie Sniper Arena where we worked in concert to shoot down the undead menace and recovered the anti-virus.

Indeed, it was a night not soon to be forgotten. Many thanks to Justin of Clio Manor, Rebecca of Exit 13 and Royce of Dreadlands for being such gracious and friendly hosts.

Fresh Blood, Current King Forge Nasty Trident

Saturdays in late October are always big nights for haunting and that is certainly true of this Saturday. Tonight, we hit the familiar pavement of northbound I-75 en route first to Clio Manor then to Exit 13 and finally Dreadlands Haunt of Davison. This will mark our first visit to both Clio Manor and Dreadlands Haunt of Davison and any time we inject that much new blood into our veins it gets our hearts pumping!

Clio Manor is a two-story haunted house that also boasts Zombie Paint Shoot while Dreadlands Haunt of Davison offers three attractions — Research Labs, Proving Grounds Trail and Zombie Sniper Arena, the latter sounds far more interactive and exciting than your standard paintball fare.

This will be the fourth consecutive season that we have toured Exit 13 which won top honors last year when it claimed the 2014 Horrorlust Haunt of the Year Award. No haunt has ever claimed that award twice much less in back-to-back years. Will the Exit 13 whack pack make history and in the process mint a new standard bearer?!

PAST REVIEWS OF EXIT 13

2012: Old School Romp at Exit 13

2013: Screwball Cast Ignites Exit 13

2014: Exit 13 Burns Hot during Frostbitten Finale

Haunt Til You Drop

As with any season of haunting changes to the schedule are inevitable and 2015 is no exception. What I have posted below is an ambition if not all together insane flight to the finish. The haunt season has concluded with a flurry of activity in years past but the 8-night, 15-haunt gauntlet listed below is the stuff of madness. It may prove to be too ambition in the end; I may be found on November 2nd lying face down in a corn field with frayed nerves and a vacant expression, but damn it, I’m going down swinging.

10/22 – Hallowe’en Nights in Greenfield Village

10/23 – Delirium

10/24 – Clio Manor, Exit 13, Dreadlands Haunt of Davison

10/25 – Shawhaven Haunted Farm, Slaughter House Adventure

10/29 – Dark Legacy, Rotten Manor

10/30 – Terror on the Boulevard, Abandon, Hush

10/31 – Slaughtered at Sundown, Terrors of Resistance

11/1 – Erebus or Wiard’s Night Terrors

And if all that doesn’t kill me I might just attempt to hit Scarefest Scream Park which will be open on Saturday, November 7th.  Why? Because haunts.

2015 Haunt Schedule: Never is Enough

The haunt schedule can be a restless beast — there are time restraints, geographic considerations, unexpected vehicle maintenance and of course the threat of inclement weather. The 2014 schedule was made all the more problematic when some friends and I decided to produce a home haunt for a Halloween party. The CikNis was held on Saturday, October 25, 2014 but the build began in early September and as it was quite an undertaking, the project limited the number of haunts I visited that month to exactly one.

In addition I acted in the Wyandotte Jaycees haunted house on three or four nights in late October and unfortunately several of my Friday nights were effectively wiped out because I was needed at work. Don’t get me wrong, both The CikNis and the opportunity to act with the Wyandotte Jaycees were worthwhile and fruitful experiences but my participation in each did eliminate potential nights from the road schedule.

This year there is no home haunt to consider and I have yet to determine whether or not I’ll reprise my role as the irrepressible Gerkins with the Wyandotte Jaycees, so with that said the haunt schedule will feature more flexibility this fall. Although, a number of my Fridays will once again be hampered by work responsibilities. But, over the years I’ve learned to roll with the punches and leave it in the hands of the haunt fates.

Below, in no particular order, are possible outings for the 2015 haunt season.

HIGHWAY TO HELL

Night #1 – The Deadland (Warren), Fear Factory (Mt. Clemens) & Panic at Pine Stump Hollow (St. Clair)

Night #2 – The Dark Box (Pinckney) & The Boneyard (Stockbridge)

Night #3 – Jackson’s Underworld (Jackson) & Shawhaven Haunted Farm (Mason)

Night #4 – Heck of A Haunted Barn (Monroe) & Haunted Hydro (Fremont, OH.)

Night #5 – Past Tense After Dark (Lapeer), Scott’s Rooms of Terror (Oxford) & Tunnel of Terror (Rochester)

Night #6 – Haunted Elementary (Bridgeport), Clio Manor (Clio) & Exit 13 (Mt. Morris)

Night #7 – Wiard’s Night Terrors (Ypsilanti)

Night #8 – Rotten Manor (Holly), Bonadeo Farms (Highland) & Dark Legacy (Wixom)

Night #9 – Abandon (Melvindale), Hush (Westland) & Krazy Hilda’s (Ypsilanti)

Night #10 – Woods of Darkness (South Rockwood), Psycho Path (Flat Rock) & Delirium (Wyandotte)

Night #11 – Slaughtered at Sundown (Armada), Haunted Farm of Terror (Lenox Township) & Scarefest Scream Park (New Haven)

I paid special attention this season to attractions that Horrorlust has never toured; there’s 13 listed and Krazy Hilda’s has relocated since our last visit in 2012. Once I identified some fresh blood I sprinkled in some old favorites that we haven’t patronized in a few years. I like that there’s wiggle room in the schedule to allow for unexpected circumstances, for instance, we could easily slot Shawhaven Haunted Farm alongside The Dark Box if need be.

I also wanted to be sure to hit each of the sponsors for Horrorlust Radio and furthermore limited the number of locations toured on any given night to just three. John and I did manage to hit four separate locations on November 1st last year but it was a breakneck pace that did suck some of the enjoyment out of the experience. Admittedly, some of the haunts listed are wild cards but we’ve gambled before and come away with enjoyable experiences.

OTHER HAUNTS OF INTEREST

Bloodview – One of my all-time favorite places. A different theme each weekend is a tempting prospect indeed. I wish it weren’t so damn far from my home.

Bates Haunted Saw Mill & JC’s Axe House – If Haunted Elementary or Clio Manor don’t pan out for any reason this Millington haunt could fit the bill.

Corpse Barn Shock Haunt – Enjoyed it last year, confident an even better show is possible. Plus, it’s hard to pass up if we’re near Jackson.

Darksyde Acres – The old pig farm has become a staple in recent years and it’s hard to resist that wild, unpredictable cast. It’s a haul though without much else in the area.

Dreadlands Haunt of Davison – Might be placed into rotation during trip to Past Tense After Dark if limited dates render lesser knowns unlikely.

The Haunt – I was once told by a veteran haunted house owner that, “If you haven’t been to The Haunt, you haven’t been anywhere.”

Realm of Haunted Minds – It’s close to home and has a throwback charm; I like to visit every couple of years.

7 Floors of Hell – That’s a lot of floors and I need that much haunting in my life. Plus, I love my overnight Ohio trips; especially those that give me an excuse to hit Bloodview.